Communizing the Self

Communizing - the process of putting fractured pieces back together so that we can become whole

We are living at the height of social dysfunction and neurosis. A species that is obviously social by nature underwent enforced isolation for 2 years during the COVID19 pandemic. Not to mention the centuries of violence that has traumatized our bonds across generations. The COVID19 pandemic restructuring program carried out by the ruling class normalized isolation and alienation. We already didn’t know how to exist as social beings, and the amnesia of natural harmony is accelerating out of control. When people are hungry and homeless in the wealthiest country in the history of Earth, and that country’s government funds and produces weapons of war before making sure people have food and shelter, it shows that our society is clearly not organized around what matters. When our fellow innocent human beings are being killed by crooked cops, being starved to death, being locked up for stealing food in order to survive, where is the outrage? Why do we not feel the injuries of injustice inflicted upon our fellow man and woman?

Irami Osei-Frimpong (The Funky Academic) points out that a person is not just their body or their mind, that a whole person is the totality of their relationships to people and things. A parent feels the pain of their child’s physical and emotional wounds because the child is quite literally a part of them. When a loved one dies it feels like a part of you got ripped out because that is exactly what happened. So then what’s going wrong? It is not that individuals don’t care; it is that people who do care don’t know what they can actually do about it or where they can go to do something about the problems in their community.  There are so many resources that are being wasted because there is no organization or infrastructure to move those resources to where they are needed. We have no meaningful social structure that enables us to confront our issues. We are not organized as a people. We are fractured into individual pieces with no meaningful connection. Perhaps there are pockets of connection that are still severed from the rest. This is reflected in our infrastructure of existing in neatly sectioned off boxes that constitute the bubbles of our lives. The result is extreme social distress. How do we put the pieces together?

           It is useful to consider a human being as a contradiction between the inner - the individual - and the outer - broader society or civil life. In this fractured society, the inner and the outer have been separated, the individual is individualized as opposed to being socialized. And the outer too is fractured because the individuals are not unified to form a cohesive oute. Society is like a spider web, formed by connections between individuals. The individuals are the intersections of strings that form the corners of the web, and the web is the society. An individual cannot exist in isolation, without connection. Such an individual would not be whole, just as a corner of a spider web cannot exist without the strings that form it, without the relationships that give it its character. A person is the totality of their relationships to people and objects. Currently we are disorganized, existing without the proper strings tying us together. 

What does it mean to organize? To organize the Self? Why does the Self need to be organized? What kind of structure and organization do we strive for? Why should someone care about being organized?

           Examining the inner, it is apparent that within the inner there is great disturbance and a lack of cohesiveness. Endless statistics on the “mental illness pandemic” that we are living through don’t do justice to the depths of inner despair. Across the many characterizations of anxiety, depression, ADHD, addiction, etc. we can find a common pattern of lacking control over life. Feeling like we are either simply floating through existence, or rather being dragged and rocked through it. Not feeling like the driver, but rather being driven with hardly a voice in where we go, where we turn, and when we stop. The thing about life is that it actually never stops, the ride keeps going, but you can learn to slow down and grab the steering wheel. Organizing the inner is exactly this process. As you stumble your way through existence you learn many things, and in learning how life works you can learn to grab the steering wheel and instead of being dragged you start stumbling, perhaps even you start walking! Walking requires rhythm, a habitual practice of placing one foot after the other. How many years have passed in which you feel like it just flew by and you feel like you’re more or less in the same place as a year ago? Did you hit any landmarks milestones along the way? Did you set any goals? Build or change any habits?

           I used to be dragged through life, stumbling my way through it, and then I learned to walk, from there I learned to run in short bursts, and now it feels like I’m running up mountains with great control and determination (running up hills is a great way to build determination).  Setting achievable goals, having targets, and really going for them without giving up is how we climb mountains. My friend Farruh remarked how life is a mountain range, and learning is the climbing of hills. As you summit a hill you see a whole valley with many more peaks, you see how much more there is that you didn’t even see before. There are infinite peaks that go infinitely higher. But the only way we can see more is by setting our sights on one of the hills. It really doesn’t matter which one you choose, just don’t stay at the bottom waiting for others to climb with you because you’ll get left behind. The key to climbing is consistency, you have to keep going otherwise you’ll just be stuck on the side of a mountain. Another key to climbing is self-care. If you don’t drink water and take sufficient rest you’ll hurt yourself. Finding the balance here is essential, but I contend that the balance should generally be in favor of climbing through discomfort because a magnificent peak awaits you.

Habits of practice and habits of self-care are quite powerful because they offer stability and control. Practice is the metaphorical climbing of a mountain, i.e going after a goal. It doesn’t matter what the goal is, just set it and go for it. Along the way you’ll find many paths that are worth exploring and perhaps you’ll find other peaks you want to go after instead, just don’t stop for too long. Habits of self-care such as brushing your teeth, showering, making your bed, doing exercise, eating healthy, meditation, are all essential. You can’t climb a mountain without drinking water or eating a snack. You can’t keep climbing peak after peak without rest. While climbing hurts, it's worth the pain. You will learn to identify the difference between healthy aches and pains versus injury. Don’t be rigid. Engaging in habits and goals is a means to taking the reins of life. This is what it means to organize the inner self. It is to give yourself flexible structure. Structure is space for curiosity, creation, and exploration. Having an organized inner self means you have your sights set on a path that you set out to climb, and you also have the habits of self-care and habits of practice that you engage to move along the path.

Now what about the outer? I stated that the outer is comprised of broader society, that is our relationships. This is not something separate from the Self, but a part of the Self that has been fractured and severed off. We may have strong habits and goals yet still feel isolated and alienated, perhaps lonely. We are all quite familiar with what it is like to have a fractured outer, but we really have no idea what a unified outer feels and operates like. Recently I left the US to come to Viet Nam and was worried about losing friendships, not being able to maintain solidity in these bonds. What I have come to realize is that my relationships are strong when they are built around shared goals and objectives. With me and my mother it is around the purpose and intention of having a tight family that is doing well. We are able to have dialogue around a shared purpose, and when we both feel that intention in dialogue then we can create sparks and curiosity. With my father it is similar, when we are not chit-chatting and instead really working at an issue that I am dealing with together, then we build a great closeness.

Relationships that lack purpose are relationships that lack a basis. The purpose doesn’t need to be grand, but it needs to exist. Prior to industrialization and the formation of cities, humans related to one another around the shared goals of survival, and shared objectives of finding food, fighting foes, building shelter, etc. It is unnatural to relate around nothingness. Relating solely around entertainment such as drinking, and partying often tends to breed shallow bonds.

With my comrade Ellis I have started a weekly writing practice that is followed by a recorded dialogue that produces a podcast. This is the beginning of an organized relationship. This structure gives us solidity and unity. We have an anchor in our relationship that feels quite solid and that provides a platform for us to relate around. I started a reading group with some friends in which we meet weekly to discuss a reading. Before the reading group I was not talking with these friends regularly, but now we all come together to share and discuss ideas and learn more about one another thus building emergent closeness. My friends in Baltistan who led my trekking excursion were starting to become distant. They would call and I wouldn’t know what to talk to them about. My uncle suggested that I start teaching them English, something that they have a need for in order to gain access to broader Pakistani society. Starting this English teaching project has given structure and intention to relate around with my friends in Pakistan. This bond now feels more solid because it has mutual purpose. We are both invested in this bond for our independent reasons. Similarly, my brother has been hosting sex-ed classes for our younger cousins and sibling, and from what I’ve heard the cousins feel extremely grateful because this creates a platform for them to connect over on a semi-weekly basis.

Structure with intention breeds curiosity, openness, and creative bonds that are strong. These are simply the seeds of an organized outer. I am curious about what strong relationships can look like in an age of digitization and emergent neuroses. It is becoming very clear, however, that when I create structures and organize my relationships in this way, that not only do the bonds become more solid but that we produce beautiful emergent outcomes and I feel more aligned in these relationships. English teaching, serving Pakistan, reading, writing regularly, recording a podcast, tightening family bonds, these are all personal goals of mine. When relationships are organized in alignment with personal goals, the outer becomes aligned with the inner. 

This process is what I call Communizing the Self. Communism is the process of organizing and giving structure to society around meeting the material needs of people, material needs being physical, emotional, and spiritual. A communist’s role is to connect people to people, to connect resources to people, to connect people to resources. It is not to dictate or to govern, it is to facilitate, guide, and lead the process of piecing ourselves together as a unified whole, a functioning biodiverse ecosystem of a society. Amidst the height of social collapse and unprecedented neurosis, along with organizing society we need to organize our Self. Only if we organize our Self along with society will we be able to become whole.